My life has been pretty dang hard since this all started. This is what my life has been like the last few years. As you know, Johnny, my little bro has been though a lot these past few years, and I haven’t been having such a dandy time either, me nor Sophie so this is how we got along these past few years. Things started to go down hill for me when I was nine or so and Sophie was a little three-year-old and Johnny was diagnosed with ALL. Johnny and I have a special brother bond to where I can still talk to him now and we’ve been pretty close our entire life, through the thick and thin, the yelling every now and then, and all that has happened up until now and from now on until forever ends. Ya, that’s how close we are! So anyway, Johnny was doing good up until he was seven when he was diagnosed and he was put in the hospital. We had some pretty good times and some pretty bad times, but all in all he had a pretty good life. He was very funny if you got to know him and he was very nice to every one, he loved to skate and surf but liked skating better even though he was a good surfer and he cooked his own food most of the time, and there is so much more I would like to tell you but that is for later entries.
At first it wasn’t to hard on Sophie and me and everything was alright for a while until this May when he got sick again and had to go back while I went to Hawaii (and right now I am starting to regret going and wishing I had stayed to spend time with him) and he got to stay in the hospital and lose his hair. But even then, things were alright for us and then came AML. That was when I knew things weren’t alright. Things were pretty shaky for a while and Sophie and I were moved around a lot. I had a feeling things weren’t OK but I put that thought away. Until today I thought things were going to turn out. Then when Nana and Pops said we were going to the hospital I knew what was going on. I got up as soon as possible and got dressed and we went up. I am glad I got to see him alive for the last time, because he could still feel what I was saying even though he was in a coma, and while he still had that yellow tinge that said he was still alive. after spending some time with him I was sent back to the family room where I stayed for an hour and a half. When ever my parents came back I convinced them to let me go back with the others to say goodbye. When I entered the room I saw him laying in bed with out being hooked up to all the machines and for the first time in along time he looked peaceful. I almost started to cry when I realized that the green skin color meant that he was dead. It was hard to see him, no his shell with out any life and to know that Johnny’s spirit was outside of this lifeless body so we can’t physically communicate and that made me sad, but to make it worse, every body was freaking out at this and that was harder than anything that I have endured my entire life to try to keep my tears in. That was when I paid my respects before I left and that was the last I saw of him. I think his purpose here was to inspire hope and courage through out this dull and hard world and once that was done then God wanted him back and at leased now he has no pain or anything and we are the ones suffering and not him and he has more family now then he ever did before.
always moving forward,
Joey